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this isn't meant to be expressed in a depressed tone at all (hello english), but rather just a fluid motion of light-hearted thoughts... ok now i'm just kidding!
sometimes... well actually all the time - don't you feel as though people are laughing at you? you know, just casually having a giggle at your expense? i think i feel this way, right now, because occasionally i find myself doing it to others without even thinking about how it would affect them, and i suddenly stop myself because i have this stupid thing that if i conjure up judgmental thoughts about others then they will not judge me in return.
wrrrrong!
i only bring this up because at the moment i can't help but react to this little ache inside my belly which continuously whispers "don't do it gurl, don't say it - people will laugh AT you". its little things that i find myself doing these days that worries me; not bringing up certain situations in conversation that i desperately want to discuss because they are burning a hole in my head, opening myself up to new friendships... are people taking the piss?? do they actually want to be my friend? and also little things like backspacing a facebook status after i have stared at it for about 10 minutes wondering how many 'likes' it was going to get (i know right! WHO THE HELL AM I??).
there is this negative air around me at the moment and me no likey. is it the people around me? is it my over analysing ways? i think both.
c'mmmmmmon positive thoughts! this is suppose to be the hardest(most rewarding)/most exciting time of my life. let's get movin'!
1 comment:
So beautiful Em. I wasn't expecting to see this just pop back up but I'm oh so glad I did. Your awareness around this is so clear, I hope this burning hole in your head mends sooner than later for you.
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